A simple weekly ritual to help you stay aligned with the man you want to be.

A few years ago, my life changed in a way I didn’t expect.

After 23 years together, my wife and I agreed to separate. It was the hardest, most emotionally complex time of my life. The grief, the uncertainty, the weight of trying to get it right – for my kids, for her, for me – was enormous.

And in that fog, I found myself asking a very simple, very hard question:
Who do I want to be in this?

Not what do I want, or what’s fair, or how do I “win.”
But how can I show up in a way that aligns with the kind of man I aspire to be?

That question didn’t fix everything, of course. But it changed the way I moved through it. I wasn’t perfect – far from it. But I kept coming back to my values: kindness, responsibility, honesty, care. I made choices I can stand by. I’m proud of how we navigated our separation. I’m proud of the relationship I still have with my ex-wife and with my kids.

That period of my life planted the seed for something I still do now – something simple, but powerful. Each week, I ask myself two questions.

It takes five minutes. Sometimes less. But it’s become one of the most grounding, values-anchoring things I do.

The Two Questions

Did I show up as the man I want to be this week?
What’s one small thing I can change next week?

That’s it. Nothing complicated. But over time, these questions have helped me to make better decisions, and live with more intention. They’ve helped me grow – not just through crisis, but through the everyday stuff that shapes who I am.

Why This Matters

Life pulls us in a hundred directions. We react, we hustle, we cope. But without reflection, we risk living weeks – or years – out of step with who we want to be.

You don’t need a journal. You don’t need an app. You just need five quiet minutes once a week.

Ask the questions. See what comes up. Adjust course.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s alignment. Integrity. Becoming the man you’d be proud of – even when no one’s watching.

If this speaks to you, try it this week. Just once.

And see what begins to shift.